To my fellow Democrats: we have so much to be thankful for, with President Obama winning re-election, thus furthering the cause of empowering our friends in government and the Muslim world.   So many deserve thanks for this that it’s hard to know where to begin.

God

Let’s be careful here: when a TV camera or microphone is on, let’s thank the “God” we pretend to believe in.  Most Americans still give lip-service to this “God”, even though for many of them, their real religion is the same as ours—Leftism, the fastest growing religion in the West.  We had a lucky escape during the DNC when many Democrats were too honest and wanted to take God out of the platform.  Fortunately, the chairman was on the ball and covered this up, although the pretense was almost exposed when many delegates booed.  So our useful idiot allies in the Churchian Left are still with us.

The teachers and schools

Our opponents don’t realize that the election was really won by decades of patient work by our Education/Propaganda wing, which the masses call the Teachers’ Unions and Department of Education.  Conservatives even brag that they are out breeding us liberals, but why should we care?   Let them bear all the hard work and expense of raising the kids, as long as they still send them to us for indoctrination—and these saps even pay us to undermine their values!

Most are too apathetic even to care what their kids are learning.  Some are deluded into thinking “my school’s different”—what a joke, since it’s still our unions and curriculum.  Others even think that their kids are “witnessing to the other kids”.  We can live with their occasional success of one of ours lost to conservatism, as long as most of the “witnessing” goes the other way, as shown by the huge majority of young people voting Democrat.

Yet still others think that they will teach them the “truth” at home, but what can they do in a few hours to combat the 30 hours per week of the schools—and we give them “homework” to occupy even more hours.  But the elections show how successful we are.  After all, why should the kids believe their parents, when the parents have tacitly conceded that the teachers are the experts, simply by sending them to the schools in the first place.   And finally, what a joke: kids won’t take conservative parents seriously about socialized medicine, when they see that their parents are hypocrites supporting socialized education!

So this is a warning: if school choice gains traction, we’ll lose our ability to reproduce ourselves in the children of conservatives.  And our allies in the teachers union will be in danger if people get the preposterous idea that teachers should be fired for incompetence!  Fortunately, we can give thanks that the Republicans are not known as “the Stupid Party” for nothing; hardly any of them are fighting for school choice.

The media

We couldn’t have won without our allies in the Democratic Propaganda Wing, which the masses call the Mainstream Media. While the schools provide the foundation for young people to imbibe our government-knows-best philosophy, the media keeps the message going.  Otherwise real world experience might disillusion them—they say “a conservative is a liberal who’s been mugged by reality.”  It disillusioned even our great leftist hero, the late George McGovern.  But overall, our Media allies have been wonderful, winning the Vietnam War for our side (Vietnam) after our enemies (the American Military) almost obliterated them on the battlefield.  And when the Republicans found able candidates like Dan Quayle, the Media were great at twisting his reasonable comments to make him look like an idiot.  And by the same token, they covered up some of the more idiotic comments by our great Leftist-in-Chief.

In this cycle, as in others, it was amazing that our allies were allowed to moderate the Republican primary debates.  That way, we could set them against each other, and leave the eventual winner bruised and battered for the main election, and with little time to electioneer.  We should again give thanks that Stupid Party National Committee (RNC) keeps allowing our guys to manipulate the primaries, and it doesn’t look like they will ever learn.  Our media allies also provided great cover by switching off when minorities spoke at the Republican Convention.  It would be disastrous if minority voters realized that they could leave the Democrat Plantation, but as it turned out, we can give thanks that minorities responded well to our promises of more “free” things.

We got a nasty scare when our ally Jim Lehrer fell down on the job, and actually remained neutral, allowing Romney to trounce Obama in the first debate.  But our ally Candy Crowley was on the ball in the second debate, rescuing Obama by being economical with the truth, when Romney had him on the ropes about Benghazi.

The Church

Marriage has long been our enemy—families headed by married parents are more likely to be self-sufficient, which means less dependent on the government, which means less likely to vote Dem.  I thought we had blown it when the President, Vice President, and the Democratic Convention came out in favor of Gay Marriage.   It seemed so unnecessary, since our allies in the Education system, media, Hollywood, and Democrat-appointed judges were normalizing it piecemeal.  But this blatant, instead of stealth, support, could have mobilized the church against us.  It could have been a repeat of the Chick-Fil-A disaster, when our mayors tried to pressure them, but the Christian masses came out to support them, and we were left with egg on our face.

But fortunately, the real religion of many Christians is neo-Pharisaism.  Despite our blatant advocacy of anti-Christian behaviors such as partial birth abortion and gay marriage, these Pharisees refused to vote for Romney because he wasn’t perfect (good luck in finding a perfect candidate, chumps!), or because he was a Mormon (those saps forget we are not electing their Pastor but their President).  We should give special thanks to one idiot TV evangelist who told his sheep to write in Jesus Christ for President!

Some of these unwitting allies of ours even thought they were “sending a message”: but the message we gladly receive is: we can slap Christian morality in the face and pay no political price.  As icing on the cake, by staying at home, these sheep failed to help the House and Senate candidates with views they would presumably approve of, such as the “pure” pro-lifers Todd Akin and Richard Mourdock (see also “Thanks to the media”, above).

Libertarians

Although they hate our big government policies, they have been a great help in implementing them.  Overall, they helped us pick off seven Republicans.  So let’s give thanks to this third party, another unwitting ally.  But while we are exceedingly grateful, I must admit that I can’t understand why they would help defeat a candidate like Mia Love who agrees with 90% of the Libertarian policies and help elect one of us, who lives for bigger government.

Some of these voters also think they are “sending a message”.  But they should know by now that we have Boehner twisted around our little finger.  So not surprisingly, the “message” he received from our election win is that Obamacare is the “law of the land”.  Others have been totally DC-ized, and have received the “message” that they should cave in on tax rate increases, such as Sen. Saxby Chambliss of Georgia. As we know from history, we can gouge the whole population with taxes, if we start off with the “rich”.  Thus we can evermore be thankful that government is expanded and our power increased still more!