As President of the United States, Barack Obama wants us to know he killed Osama Bin Laden. The SEALs? Pfffffftttt . . . nope. Barack Obama did it. If you don’t believe him, wait till the campaign commercials tell you. Don’t believe them? Well, just in time for the election, Hollywood will provide us with an in-kind contribution of a propaganda film.

This morning, my dad called and pointed out that Barack Obama may just be the most successful killer to ever take up residence in the White House — more successful even than the 19th Century vampire slayer who first led the Republican Party into the White House. In fact, consider the serial killing spree Barack Obama has been on:

  • Osama Bin Laden
  • Our credit rating
  • The coal industry
  • The oil and natural gas industry
  • The healthcare sector
  • Job creation
  • Economic growth
  • Small businesses
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