Do you remember a time before you were subjected to the horror that is the DMV? I do. I remember being a bright-eyed 15-year-old, so excited to enter the next phase of life – the phase where I’d have the freedom to drive myself to places where I could make my own decisions. I had heard people grunt “DMV” as if it were a hellish place to be, but I was an optimist. I was sure that I’d have a great experience.

But alas, the DMV crushed my spirit, as it does for us all.

All I needed was that first experience to change the cheery way I said DMV into the gutteral “DMV” that people spit out of their mouths in disgust.

So, Obamacare has proven to be yet another dirty word. The federal government has attempted to take complete control of our healthcare system – the website functioning much like the DMV…except everyone and their mom’s are waiting in a virtual line – the same virtual line you’re in – each with an urgent, bloody, lifethreatning thing going on.

Maybe that’s why it doesn’t work. Or maybe whoever designed it is incompetant. Or maybe we just lucked out. No matter what the reason is, the truth remains. This thing sucks.

Kathleen Sebelius, latest Obama servant to get thrown under the bus, has said (of people who tried and failed to sign up for Obamacare on the government site), “We intend to invite them back formally by e-mail, by message.”

So…what exactly does that look like? Gen Fringe contributer, Jonathan Meadows commented on her statement saying, “How is the federal government going to email or message me? That just seems weird. Have you ever given your email address to Sebelius? Are you Facebook friends with her?”

I mean, what can she do? Send out a mass email to people who couldn’t even get on the website in the first place? How exactly does she plan to get that information? Information that no one could actually enter because the website didn’t work. I read somewhere that only six (not six hundred, not six thousand, just six) signed up for Obamacare the day it was available.

I think it’s safe to say healthcare.gov has started out as an #epicfail.

So, what chance does the government have of smoothing things over? Well, they can keep playing the blame game to protect the President. They can send out a mass email to the whole country by doing their NSA spy magic to get our information. Then what?

Hopefully, the whole thing crashes and burns. Just think about what will happen if it doesn’t.

I’m going to describe the DMV, but go ahead and just take that image and use it to understand what successful Obamacare would look like…

You wait in those litte fold out chairs forever. When your name is finally called, you never have the right papers. You’re always missing just one. And the person who informs you of this fine print that you never saw is the meanest person you have ever met or ever will meet. You have to leave and come back another day. But before you do that, you have to go to another government agency to get the piece of paper you were missing. Once you go to the other place, they send you to another place.

Imagine it being that hard to see a doctor!

Government workers and government run businesses are generally like that because, well, when you have control over something that the whole country uses, every citizen is just a number. Some government employees are nicer than others, sure. But generally, anything that is run by Uncle Sam is poorer in quality when compared to private businesses.

So who in the world wants their Healthcare experience to be like the DMV? Obamacare appeals to people who don’t have insurance who want to be seen for free, but fortunately, I think that even pro-Obamacare Americans are seeing, by the launch, that this system is not going to work.

Ms. Sebelius, good luck digging yourself out of the hole and Facebook messaging us. I’m sure that if you do manage to find a way to contact people who waited 10 hours to get on your website, they’ll “spam” you before they get past the first word.