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Politics on Tap

Written on Friday, February 15, 2013 by

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Neighbors in Big Bear, California – where ex-cop Christopher Dorner was apparently burned to death – were on edge for days, some even taking up arms when police were unable to secure the area. This really made Dorner angry because like all liberals, Chris Dornan believed in strict gun control – except for himself, of course. In his Facebook manifesto, Dornan revealed undying love and support for Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and several notable media figures; but I want to make it completely clear I do not believe all Piers Morgan fans are this nuts. Dornan was able to hide out for days by holding up in a cabin just across from the LAPD command center and blending in with the snowy ski resort – using his 6 foot, 270-pound frame, cammo gear and automatic weapons as cover.

A CNN poll conducted last month reports a 21% approval rating for Congress, but who cares about people, really? The opinions of celebrities are what’s important. For instance, Clint Eastwood says he doesn’t like the job Congress is doing, telling CNBC; “So if they don’t give a damn, why do they expect anybody else to?” Next up for Mr. Eastwood is a trip to JFK stadium to interview the bleachers.

A new study by liberal think tank the Center for Economic Policy and Research, says global warming would be drastically reduced if people worked fewer hours, or not at all. The report says Americans should switch to a “more European” work schedule, which includes less hours, more vacation, and more time off – could cut global warming in half by 2100. And you said President Obama was doing nothing about Climate Change? Hah! The study comes on the back of recent news that illegal immigration has slowed and many more Mexican immigrants are choosing to self-deport because of the bad economy and lack of jobs in the U.S.; which begs the question; ” Is there nothing Obamanomics can’t do?”

The U.S. Justice Department has moved to block the proposed merger of beer giant Anheuser-Busch InBev with Mexico’s Grupo Modelo, calling it “a bad deal for American consumers.” Eric Holder is promoting the idea that instead of a merger, the two companies just walk the beer over the border.

Some Democrats are demanding that Dr. Benjamin Carson apologize to President Obama for using a speech at the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington – a traditionally “non-partisan” arena – to outline his ideas on how to improve healthcare. Dr. Carson is a black, Christian pediatric neurosurgeon who was born into poverty, is against Affirmative Action, and graduated top of his class from John Hopkins. One thing everyone seemed to agree on was that if Barack Obama had a son, he definitely would not look like Ben Carson and that it doesn’t take a brain surgeon to figure out ObamaCare is a disaster, but it helps when one says so.

Barack Obama’s SOTU address, and Marco Rubio’s response showed some consensus on how to solve illegal immigration and what to do with 11 million illegals already residing in the US. Rubio called for a responsible immigration solution for the “undocumented,” and echoed much of the President’s rhetoric, which was designed to speak to both parties. But here’s the perfect suggestion for Barack Obama and Marco Rubio: Put Mexico on the State Sponsors of Terrorism list – and anyone fleeing the country will get political asylum! Problem solved.

White House doctor Connie Mariano said on CNN she was worried about Chris Christie dying in office because he’s so fat. Christie then went on Letterman and said it wasn’t an issue…

… Try telling that to his grocer… Thanks – drive safely…

and send hate mail to: kowenhoven@gmail.com

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