If there’s one thing I’m absolutely certain history will remember the Obama administration for, it’s the fact that it’s been riddled with lies, scandal and botched operations. Seems the man can’t turn around without tripping headfirst into political muck. I almost feel sorry for him.


This month’s big to-do is the insurgence of Islamic militants into major cities in Iraq, including Mosul and Tikrit, with the main goal appearing to be Baghdad.

It’s a big slap in the face to our troops, to be sure. Many have spoken up, saying their efforts and sacrifices feel entirely in vain. Indeed it would seem that way, given that it only took three years for this inevitability.

To be fair, though, I can’t pretend to know what the other option would have been. Stay there forever? Maybe keep a small military force there? I don’t know, I have no military experience whatsoever. Then again, neither does our president.

That actually segues perfectly to my point: Obama has no idea how to handle Iraq. How could he? He never served. He’s never donned a uniform, he’s never been through basic (as this clip of his Jane Fonda workout makes abundantly clear) and he’s certainly never spent a night in the trenches. No, he can only rely on his advisors and his gut, which have apparently told him to send 275 Marines to the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad. A start, but not nearly enough, according to my father, who was in the military.

In my not-so-humble opinion, it’s a terrible idea to give the highest military authority to a man who has never served a day in his life. You might as well ask me to be the Commander in Chief; I have exactly the same level of military experience as Obama.

We really don’t need for this to happen again. Like, ever. But I have a solution, and once again I found it by turning to history, specifically that of the city-state of Sparta in ancient Greece, which sported two kings instead of one, a hierarchy known in Greek as the Archagetai.

So, to avoid this problem in the future, and to make sure we always have someone competent at the head of our military, here’s what I’m proposing: a constitutional amendment.

What would this amendment do, you might ask? Well, the bit about Sparta should have tipped you off.

My proposed amendment would add a second seat to the Executive Branch. Instead of one executive, we would have two. There will be the President of the United States, who will be the final authority on domestic affairs, and the Commander in Chief of the United States, who will assume the Executive responsibilities of Military and Veterans’ affairs currently held by the President.

The requirements for the Commander in Chief of the United States would be similar to those of the President: he must be a natural-born citizen and he must be at least thirty-five years old. Because military service often requires servicemen to live abroad, one will only be required to have seven years residency in the U.S. instead of fourteen, as a Presidential candidate would need.

And of course, the big one: a candidate for Commander in Chief of the United States must have no fewer than ten years of military experience under his belt. Why ten, you might ask? Because that’s longer than any required tenure, which makes it more likely that the candidate is a career militant and has the level of experience needed for the job.

A candidate for Commander in Chief will be elected to said position, just as the President is. He will also choose a running mate, who will serve alongside him as the First Officer in Chief of the United States (I adopted that from Naval hierarchy; feel free to suggest another title).

The Commander in Chief will also have his own cabinet. His cabinet, which will fall to his discretion, of course, will absorb the Secretary of Veterans’ Affairs from the President’s Cabinet. The position of Secretary of Defense will be entirely eliminated, as the duties of that position will fall to the First Officer in Chief.

The members of the Joint Chiefs of Staff (excluding the chairman and vice chairman, as those position will be eliminated and their roles filled by CICOTUS and FOCOTUS) will be elevated to members of the Commander in Chief’s cabinet. All rules regarding the attainment of these positions will remain intact.

So there you have it. Now, I’m obviously not an expert (nor am I naïve enough to think that anyone in Congress would ever go for this), so treat this as what it is, a rough outline. Having two executives instead of one will create discussion on decisions made at the highest level and ensure that we never again have someone with less military experience than the greenest recruit at the highest level of military command.

Let us know what you think.