Well, sir, I shall be looking for a perfect world ahead of me
this year, no doubt.  With the master “climate scientist” at the
helm, how could we expect anything less?  Just as a “case study,”
I have been keeping a study of my Christmas cactus over the past
thirty five years.  They are kept in the same spot on my covered
patio with no internal heat – only sunshine through the windows
on sunny days.  At first, they bloomed just before Christmas.
Then, as weather patterns varied, they bloomed before or after
Christmas.  Some years they bloomed in October, other times not
until February.  They never varied, however, more than four
months during any one year.  Believe it or not, this year they
began in December – same as thirty five years ago, and are still
at it at the end of January.  I have many trees and plants that
vary in their production cycle, just as the cactus.  If, during
any particular year, they shift their cycle to July, I shall call
Washington immediately.  I suspect that the forthcoming
explanation will encompass the melting of either of the ice caps
or the different route taken by the migrating grey whales.  I
shall worry myself sick.

In the meantime, I hope that the Prez, and even perhaps the “guru
of the left”, Mr. Al Gore, will come to my rescue to save my
precious Christmas Cacti.  Who could be more interested and
compassionate over my dilemma?  I understand that the powers that
be have now determined that over the past hundred years the
earth’s average temperature has risen by .1 degree Fahrenheit.
Now that is really frightening and I can understand the Prez’s
preoccupation with the “extreme” warming trend to the point of
making it his top priority in his next two years in the ivory
tower.  Well, I’ve lived a whole bunch of years and have
experienced temperatures in one particular part of the world from
-56 degrees to +121 in the same place – in the same year.  Where
I lived, nobody called it “global warming;” there was no such
thing.  In fact, the common expression was: “Colder than Hell!”
And, come July, “Hotter than h….”

If we are expecting perfect analysis of what weather will be,
this year or ten or twenty years from now, I believe the Farmer’s
Almanac will probably be as accurate as the high-priced
weather prognosticators on the weather channels or anywhere in
the “news” media.  I would take more credence in the advice of
the farmer down the road, who isn’t trying to impress anyone with
his vast knowledge of weather and weather cycles, but just lives
it every day, and prays a lot.