As a lifelong Michigan fan who grew up with Jim Harbaugh as his favorite Wolverine, I didn’t think my man-crush on the Maize-and-Blue’s new football coach could get any bigger than it already is.
The guy hasn’t even coached a game yet in Ann Arbor, but Captain America hosannas, like the ones he earned as quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts, are already raining down on him after he beat the toughest opponent of them all this week.
Faced with the douchetastic dumb-arsery of campus victimologists, who felt a showing of the movie American Sniper would be insensitive to Jihadists, Harbaugh reacted like any alpha male on the gridiron would when sensing weak sauce across the line of scrimmage.
He lined up and punched somebody in the mouth.
As told on Twitter, Harbaugh responded to the latest contrived grievance against America’s top grossing movie of 2014 by stating:
“Michigan Football will watch ‘American Sniper’! Proud of Chris Kyle & Proud to be an American & if that offends anybody then so be it!”
Behold, what came next was like watching Moses parting the Red Sea.
Where there was once a mere 300 signatories whining a campus of nearly 45,000 students into submission, less than 24 hours later there was a sweet exodus from liberal tyranny and idiocy (apologies for the redundancy). What America-haters intended to be their next tantrum became a model for decent people from all walks of life, who are tired of losing to a bunch of wimps that would be the first people killed by our enemies if it weren’t for men of valor like Chris Kyle.
Where once there was this garbage from the university: “We deeply regret causing harm to members of our community, and appreciate the thoughtful feedback provided to us by students and staff alike. While our intent was to show a film, the impact of the content was harmful, and made students feel unsafe and unwelcome at our program.”
There was then this epiphany following Harbaugh’s epic takedown of the perpetually offended, ne’er-do-well class: “The original decision to cancel the movie was not consistent with the high value the University of Michigan places on freedom of expression and our respect for the right of students to make their own choices in such matters.”