I know, I know—I need to stop complaining about the TSA.  I’ve already crossed my personal picket line and have had to fly to film PolitiChicks.  Still, each time I narrowly escape the Rapiscan machines and the sexual groping (clutching my pocket Constitution all the way) all I can think is—have ANY of these tactics worked in any way whatsoever in catching even ONE tiny terrorist?

Far as I know, the answer is no.

TSA steadfastly refuses to mention that P-word—PROFILING.  They banned box cutters and nail files after 9/11.  They made us take off our shoes after the shoe bomber successfully boarded a plane.  And this past JULY a stun gun was found in a seatback pocket on a Jet Blue plane in Newark, New Jersey, ironically the same airport where one of the 9/11 planes took off from.   So apparently the TSA can’t even catch FAKE guns on airplanes.

A few other recent TSA mishaps:

  • 2 agents were arrested for stealing $160,000 from checked bags.
  • A knife inside a carry-on made it past a checkpoint and two passengers were allowed to board flights despite issues with their full-body scans.
  • A dead dog was brought to the airport by its owner and loaded onto a Continental Airlines jet without ever being screened.
  • A TSA worker in Miami was arrested when he attacked a colleague who repeatedly made fun of his small penis after the security screener walked through a Rapiscan machine during an employee training session.
  • Newark airport averages about one security breach every couple of months, according to reports. 

Ahh, TSA…

Last spring Representative David Simpson in Longview, Texas authored a bill which would have made it unconstitutional to publicly, sexually grope someone in airports.  The House passed it, the Senate killed it.  Rep. Ron Paul tried to pass the American Traveler Dignity Act.   

Yet other than Simpson and Paul and my whiny articles, no one else seems to care about the TSA’s intrusions.

I recently got into a debate with a pro-TSA person who told me he not only doesn’t have a problem being publicly strip-searched via an x-ray machine and/or sexually groped, he says he actually appreciates it.  (He also obviously hasn’t read any of my TSA articles…)

“How do you know the TSA haven’t caught any terrorists?” he asked me defiantly.  This guy insisted the TSA agents aren’t the scary, incompetent dunces I’ve made them out to be and are instead James Bond-ish heroes who are secretively apprehending terrorists left and right.

My answer to him was that although I don’t have any actual proof, if TSA had caught any terrorists and didn’t alert the media they would be missing out on the greatest Public Relations opportunity ever.  For one, catching a wannabe terrorist in an American airport would help justify the TSA’s Gestapo-like tactics.   It would also help make up for all the children they’ve terrorized, the elderly guy whose colonoscopy bag broke (twice!), the middle-aged blonde writer and PolitiChick who’s worried about public strip searches…

And can you IMAGINE how happy they’d be if they ever caught one of those elusive “right-wing Christian extremist type terrorists” the liberals dream of and create in their liberal brains?  Does anyone really believe the puppets in the Obama administration—especially Janet Napolitano—would actually be silent about something like this?  Yeah, me either.

Matter of fact, you can Google search “TSA Finds Guns” and you’ll find dozens of stories about weapons being found in airports throughout the US.  But in every instance, it’s never been terrorist-related; simply 2nd Amendment type biz.  And also in every instance, all the weapons found could have been found by metal detectors.  No plastic explosives meant to bring down planes—or to be more precise, no Islamic-type tactics found by their naked scanners.

If I ever learn that the TSA has been thwarting terrorist attacks since 9/11, God bless them.  I’ll be the first to publicly apologize and I’ll stop writing snarky articles about their “security” measures.  But if all they’ve done is target non-terrorists instead of potential terrorists, and if the only way they think they can prevent future attacks is by waiting until after-the-fact, I’m gonna keep on complaining.