Rand Paul is urging his fellow Republicans to use caution when calling for Barack Obama to be impeached, but would not rule it out totally himself. As new details emerge about the White House’s possible role in the IRS scandal, many on the right have broached the subject of impeachment. Then they remember Joe Biden is Vice-President and drop the whole thing immediately. Damn! Remember when we all laughed about Obama picking Biden as his running mate? Not so stupid now, eh?

After celebrating Mass in St. Peter’s Square on Sunday, Pope Francis laid his hands on the head of a disabled young man, who seemed to become sickened before slumping back into his wheelchair. The Pope then began praying over him, causing many to believe he was conducting an exorcism on the man in order to cast out the devil. Not sure if it was successful, but this morning Lois Lerner invoked her rights under the Fifth Amendment, rather than answer questions about denying people their rights under the First Amendment. I thought I saw her tail and a red pitchfork. Just sayin’.

Anchor Brian Williams actually used the “N” word the other night on the news when reporting on the Obama Administration’s possible connection to the AP phone record scandal. The “N” word in question here is “Nixon,” although you may have already spit up your coffee before reading this sentence.

Here’s a hip company for you: A recent Senate investigation reports that Apple Inc. uses a bunch of affiliate companies located outside the U.S. in order to get around our tax laws. The Senate found that Apple has $102 billion of its $145 billion in cash overseas in order to avoid paying billions of dollars in U.S. taxes. The practice is legal, but just in case, they’ve developed an App called the IAudit. Even that wormy “Mac” kid on the commercials speaks with a European accent all of a sudden while the fat PC guy is holding a pair of handcuffs and laughing. The Senate reports that no action will be taken against Apple, however, because the words “Patriot” or “Tea Party” don’t appear anywhere in their name.

Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s advice to mediocre high school graduates is to become plumbers rather than attend college. College is expensive, he says and not worth it for below average students because they could be cleaning drains and fixing leaks rather than attending Harvard or Yale, which is more for them thar book-smart people. Further, Bloomberg notes that reaching for a career that would involve going to a prestigious college and obtaining a degree might not be as good an investment as grabbing the brass ring of plumbing right out of high school. Pundits from both sides of the aisle agree that this was a perfect time for a government official to take the fifth. I do know this: Going to college or becoming a plumber pales in comparison to being a nanny. Just ask Bloomberg.

Lizz Winstead, co-creator of ‘The Daily Show’ tweeted her idea of a joke on Monday, saying; ‘This tornado is in Oklahoma so clearly it has been ordered to only target conservatives.” After the imaginable rage ensued, she of course, apologized and said she was only making a topical political joke. If that’s the case, I want to know exactly when Hillary first found out about the tornado and who didn’t order it to stand down? Man that’s funny! I could work for the Daily Show methinks. You see, little kids drowning in basements is a laugh riot if you can tie it to conservatives and bring it in under 260 characters. Funny and biting, honest and poignant – this Lizz Winstead is a modern day Will Rogers, WHO IS ALSO FROM OKLAHOMA‼! I got a million of them folks. Somebody hire me before Comedy Central gets a load of my stuff about people losing their homes and loved ones…

And FINALLY: Nothing to do with politics, but I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that Ray Manzerak of “The Doors” pass away this week at age 74. The good news is he was an organ donor. Yeah, I went there. Blam. Everybody gets a taste of the Rodney Lee Juice…

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Rodney Lee Conover is a writer / performer, living in Southern California’s Mohave Desert
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