Politics On Tap
by Rodney Lee Conover

So let me get this straight: An Hispanic guy and a black guy get in a fight: The black guy breaks the Hispanic’s nose, slams his head against the cement and begins beating him with his fists. The Hispanic pulls a gun and kills the black guy. Six women find the Hispanic guy not guilty of murdering the black guy and the whole thing is the white man’s fault… Got it.

110 fwyDemonstrators across the country unhappy with the not guilty verdict in the Trayvon Martin / George Zimmerman trial marched, rioted, rampaged and seized control of city streets with some protests turning violent. Angry mobs in Los Angeles took over parts of the 110 freeway and police fired rubber bullets to restore traffic. Thousands showed up in Times Square resulting in dozens of arrests for destruction of property. In Oakland, police allowed protestors to terrorize drivers for over three hours without intervening. Day and night since the verdict, emotional crowds have gathered, screamed, carried signs, run amok and clashed with police. The good news is no one missed a day of work.

MSNBC anchor Al Sharpton said that he and his… oh who gives a crap? Next.

Huma Abedin1

“This ice cream tastes funny”

Huma Abedin, wife of disgraced former Congressman and current candidate for Mayor, Anthony Weiner, joined her husband on the campaign trail this past Sunday in New York City. The normally shy Ms. Abedin was shaking hands, posing for photos and fielding reporters’ questions right alongside Mr. Spitzer for the first time since her husband declared his contention for the race. No word on whether she’ll likewise be tweeting photos of her private parts in the months ahead.

 

Former escort-service owner Kristin Davis is also running for Mayor of New York City in addition to the above-mentioned Anthony Weiner. In a related New York contest, Elliot Spitzer, former client of Kristin Davis is running for Comptroller. This begs the question; which is worse: A former John, a former Madame or a former Congressman? One used to prostitute others for a living, one prostituted himself and the other is Elliot Spitzer.

Barack Obama met with Attorney General Eric Holder on Friday to deliver the Justice Department’s guidelines on criminal investigations involving members of the media. Both Obama and Holder agreed that for the Justice Department to get involved in a prosecution of a journalist or media organization, it should strictly be limited to Fox News only.

janet nap2

Can I park my moped there?

Janet Napolitano announced on Friday she is stepping down as head of Homeland Security this upcoming September to take the job of President of the University of California system. Privacy advocates from both left and right have been highly critical of Napolitano’s four years as chief of Homeland Security and many across the political spectrum are glad to see her go. Indeed, many in California are not thrilled about the choice to have her take over as head of the University of California school system – and not just because of rumors she would install cameras in all the girl’s locker rooms. So now she’ll be going from letting illegals into California free to letting illegals into the California University system for free. President Obama has roughly a month to think about a replacement and Republicans are demanding someone be appointed who is tougher or at least more qualified than Napolitano, such as Justin Bieber or Kim Kardashian.

FINALLY: Chris Christie will be appearing on; “The Michael J. Fox Show” a new sitcom from NBC. The New Jersey Governor and oft-mentioned presidential candidate has been on Saturday Night Live and of course many late-night and political talk shows, but never a sitcom. Christie will be appearing as himself, so the role will require quite a bit of rehearsal and a whole lot of acting prowess. The show is about a sportscaster with Parkinson’s disease (played by Michael J.) who is returning to work, much like Fox is an actor with Parkinson’s who is returning to series television. Much like Christie is playing a Republican. The show premieres Sept. 26, but there is not an air date as of yet for the Christie episode. It’s on NBC, so very few will see it unless the return to television by Michael J. Fox really shakes things up. That was uncalled for, yet, kinda my job. He’d laugh, so lighten up already.

 

rodney on tap

No sugar. I’m sweet enough.

Rodney Lee Conover is a writer / performer, living in Southern California’s Mohave Desert with his horses and dog Jack

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