Memorial Day is coming. And unlike that Commie Labor Day garbage, Memorial Day is dedicated to remembering the sacrifices of our fighting men and women.

What does that mean? It means don’t get shitfaced on Sunday night so you can head down to the cemetery Monday morning. Although the morning is the time for the great American traditions of dog-walking, yard work and bacon, Memorial Day afternoon is time for a different kind of patriotism: enjoying the good fruits of America, namely amber waves of grain (in the form of cheap, delicious beer) and man’s God-given dominance over savory animals.

To help America celebrate this great holiday, the folks at The Daily Caller have tackled the forbidden question: Which red, white and blue-decked canned beer goes best with which Memorial Day food. It is a thankless job, drinking tall boys in the office, but so is the duty of the butcher, fishermen, welder, farmer, canner and cow that make this day so enjoyable. In the meantime, light the grill, lift a can to our brave men and women, and get ready for the most intellectually stimulating beer review in U.S. history: Coors Light, Bud Heavy and PBR.

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