Barack Obama has turned himself into Alfred E. Neuman. I’m sure you all remember the grinning face iconic of “Mad Magazine”. His enduring motto was “What, me worry?”. It is extremely difficult for someone with such a soul crushing job as that of President of the United States to achieve this level of disconnect. But our intrepid President is sublimely equipped with the inner resources to rise to this level of mental tranquility.
Being the most intelligent man in the world, undoubtedly gives him analytical capabilities that are far beyond what most mere mortals are able to attain. This gives him the capability to examine things in more cosmic terms. His massive intellect allows him to view these troubled years as having little effect on the cosmological history as a whole.
While he sits in the oval office thinking great thoughts, as only he can, the more mundane matters of the presidency are blocked from his attention. This is obviously why he is not aware of anything that is happening in his administration, good or bad, until he hears about it on the news. Undoubtedly he hears it from the hard hitting reporters at MSNBC. It is common knowledge in liberal circles that, if it isn’t on MSNBC, it isn’t news. This method of keeping informed also allows his underlings to keep their “nose to the grindstone” as they don’t have to interrupt their highly skilled ministrations to keep their master informed.
The President must be a deeply religious man. That is undoubtedly why his long and instructional speeches sound so much like sermons. It is a marvelous thing that he is willing on an almost daily basis to teach us how to understand the complicated workings of a world that is so difficult for our tiny intellects to comprehend. It is good that he keeps repeating the same points over and over, so that we may eventually be able to retain them. Another clue to his deep religiosity is the huge amount of time he spends in Air Force One. Up there at forty thousand feet he just feels much nearer to God.
Like Thoreau at Walden, Mr. Obama knows the importance of staying close to nature. A weekly stroll through the woods and fields, around little ponds and streams, and passing by little areas of beach sand calms him and gives him inner strength. As a person keen on multitasking, he brings along some clubs and some little white balls to hit. Bring along a few close friends for some pleasant conversation and you walk off the course ready to ignore the next crisis. For truly, they are only crises if they concern you. Lay the responsibility off onto someone else and they are no longer crises.
By ridding himself of the extraneous problems of day to day decision making, Mr. Obama has been able to extend the virtues of the Chicago School of Political Philosophy as exemplified by many great names in political theory. Many would be unfamiliar to most people, but there are some that almost everyone would be familiar with. Names like Richard Daley, Rod Blagojevich, Tony Rezko, and Dan Rostenkowski are legend in the annals of political philosophy. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the great contributions that have been made by Obama’s personal mentor, Bill Ayers.
Many would love to soar to the level of these famous political names. But few have the character and moral structure that it takes. Alfred E. Neuman summed it up best when he said, “What, me worry?”